Instead of aggressively waging war against the oppressive Philistines the King sat under a pomegranate tree and deliberated for days on end. (1 Samuel 14, 2.) I image him plucking leaves off a daisy and mumbling: "Shall I attack?, shall I not?, shall I, shall I not, ..." God's Chosen could not make up his mind.
And when the Philistian and Israelite armies finally stood in battle array, all of Israel was afraid of one man, Goliath, who challenged them with defiant words. (1 Samuel 17, 11.)
This does not square: God's anointed man for the hour with more power is passive and afraid. And remains in that condition for very long periods of time.
Even though Saul had everything going for him,
- he had God's favor and God's anointing at his disposal
- he had one of the most competent spiritual counselors of all time, (Samuel)
- he had the admiration of his people
Yet Saul failed miserably.
How come?
The root of his downfall is how he viewed himself.
If you study Saul's biography you realize rather quickly that he had, - and sustained -, a very poor self-image. He never could get to seeing himself as God's anointed king, wise statesman, or conquering hero.
You see, even in the very beginning of his story, when Samuel announced to him that the Lord had chosen him to be prince of his people, he replied: "Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? Why then do you speak to me in this way?" (1 Samuel 10, 21.) He saw himself to be the lowest of the low on the national totem pole.
And when inauguration day had come, and Samuel wanted to proclaim him king, Saul hid by the stuff!
That doesn't strike me as very royal and "in command."
And even after the crowning ceremony: the man goes back to personally farming his land! (1 Samuel 11, 5.)
Is that what kings do?
Why did Saul carry such a marred self-image?
There is an explanation.
He was of Gibea in Benjamin.
At one point in history, not too long before Saul's time, the inhabitants of Gibea were awful people. Much like the citizens of Sodom or Gomorrah they were violent, militant homosexuals given to gang rapes and other despicable acts. (Judges 19-21.) Because of their great wickedness and their unrepenting disposition the other tribes of Israel made war against Gibea and Benjamin. During the course of that civil war the tribe of Benjamin was almost completely annihilated. Only a handful of men survived.
It is easy to see why the people of Gibea didn't feel very special. They were to fault for the bloody mess. Nobody liked them. Thus their municipal history bred a certain self-loathing into them. Rejection run rampant in Gibea.
And so was Saul unable to overcome his tribal past. The despicable deeds of his forefathers weighed so heavy upon him that they paralyzed him, even though he himself had done no wrong. His national history held him in bondage his entire life. He just could not believe that the despised tribe of Benjamin was now the favored tribe indeed.
How different is Paul, - the former Saul -, who, after a career as tormentor-in-chief of the church, became a highly effective apostle. He wrote: "... but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead." (Philippians 3, 13.)
You will not be able to change your past! So get over it.
Paul did. His past did not hold him in bondage. He didn't allow it.
The first generation of the children of Israel also had "Saul's Disease": they got out of Egypt, but they never got Egypt out of them! After Moses had brought them safely out slavery and was about to lead them through the Red Sea they said to him: "Is this not the word that we spoke to you in Egypt, saying 'leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness." (Exodus 14, 12.)
The Israelites, though free, still viewed themselves to be the slaves of Egypt.
They did not see themselves as the redeemed of a powerful Saviour-God.
They never amended their view.
They died in the wilderness.
Compare that to John the Baptist's picture of himself.
He was preaching in large evangelistic campaigns with tremendous results when a group of priests and Levites came to inquire of him: "Who are you?"
"And he confessed and did not deny, but confessed, "I am not the Christ." They asked him: "What then? Are you Elijah?" And he said, "I am not." "Are you the Prophet?" And he answered, "No." Then they said to him, Who are you, so that we may give an answer to those who sent us? What do you say about yourself?"
He said, "I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,' as Isaiah the prophet said." (John 1, 20-23.)
John said about himself what God said about him.
He quoted God's word.
He derived his identity and his self-image from the words of his maker.
What do you say about yourself?
What is the source of your self-image?
Your country's history? Your past experiences? The opinion of others around you?
Or God's unalterable, forever true, all-powerful WORD?
I admit: it was sort of easy for John.
The angel Gabriel had appeared to his dad prior to John's birth and had told him, "Your son will go as a forerunner before the Messiah in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the rigthteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." (Luke 1, 17.)
God had said, "I see another Elijah in your son John."
Can you imagine the impact these words had on young John when his father related them to him many years later? What do you think John meditated upon when he was growing up?
What do you think were his favourite portions of scripture? (The ones pertaining to Elijah, I would imagine.)
John had a definite example to study and to mold himself after. He did it, too. In the end he even dressed like his hero and shared the same strange taste for exotic food as did Elijah. I can imagine him to walk around in the desert (just like the prophet of old) and fantasizing: "I am 'Elijah.' One day I shall stand before the multitudes of Israel! One day even kings shall heed my call! One fine day I shall meet Messiah! It will be I who shall introduce him to mankind! What awesome privilege. What awesome responsibility."
And one day John did indeed pull an Elijah on the people of Israel.
Did you ever realize that God does that all the time? He gives his men examples to model themselves after. He gave Moses as an example for Joshua. (Joshua 1, 5.)
Solomon (and all other kings) was to follow in the footsteps of David. (David was even Jesus' model for king: Luke 1, 32.)
Elijah was the prototype for Elisha and, of course, John the Baptist.
Jesus' model was God the Father himself. His self-image was awesome!
He called himself by names like, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life! I am the Resurrection and the Life! I am the Light of the World!" And then he performed the appropriate acts to confirm it.
Breathtaking!
Jesus in turn was the model for his apostles. (John 20, 21.)
Paul was "father" for Timothy and Titus and an entire host of other fledglings.
All believers have Abraham as a common model from God. He is called the "father of believers." (Romans 4, 11.) God sees an "Abraham" in each of us. From this we can deduct that we christians in our entirety have about the same strengths and the same weaknesses as he had.
Let's study him!
Let's assess his strengths and let's avoid his pitfalls. What God did for him he will do for us. He is the model-"father of us all."
If you want to know the real truth: God even sees a Jesus in every born again believer. We are "In Him." We are filled with the same spirit as he was (and is). (Ephesians 1.) We have access to the Father's ear. (Hebrews 4, 16.) We are seated with him in heavenly places. (Ephesians 2.) We are even members of Christ's very body! (1 Corinthians 12.) Hallelujah!
So, who are you?
How do you see yourself?
Are you yet a slave? Or are you the redeemed of the Lord?
You determine wether you will die in the wilderness or wether you will shake the foundations of this world with your faith.
God's richest and best to you,
Gert Hoinle, Editor of Teaching News
Copyright © 2000 by Gert Hoinle